I just turned 35. I work with children (full-time nanny of twins). I have loved kids since I was tiny & never imagined I would make it this far without having never been pregnant. I have been previously married for 8 years and he didn’t want children either! There were many other issues and I divorced him several years ago. What a good decision that was! My current partner is 40, and just went through with a vasectomy. He is my Mr. Wonderful but has never wanted children. I left him after 2 wonderful years of partnership ~ best relationship of my life. I went looking for him but someone who wanted children. I dated on line, met people naturally through friends, focused on my nanny work and hobbies, even moved away to Hawaii to follow my dream of meeting someone who wanted children. I found so many dis-functional men on my journey. From drug & alcohol addictions to narcissism to psychic manipulation. I decided on the last breakup to enjoy time with my Mr. Wonderful again (with the advice of a counselor) in a platonic way. It very quickly and obviously turned into a relationship and we have been back together for 6 months. I am now confronted with the question:
“Was 3 years of trying to find a partner enough time?” “Would I find the right match if I left him again?” “Would he still be available if I came back again?” “How would I even do if I did have a baby with so many sleepless nights if I did find someone who could support my dream financially, emotionally, etc?”
I really am not up for dating again and want to stay with my “Mr. Wonderful” but the fear is real of how I will feel in a few years when the fertility window starts to close...
Any ideas or advice on my non-mom situation?