andyrea84

Aug 17, 2017

Jumping In!

Hi! I must say, I was very excited to see that thenotmom finally created a forum! Since finding the website several months ago, I've been hoping for a more interactive experience with others who can understand this (pretty huge) aspect of my life. I am 33 years old, married to my high school sweetheart for 10 years, and childfree. This is the first time in the last four years I have felt comfortable using "childree" as opposed to "childless" to describe our lives. While in our twenties, my husband and I were both pretty anti-kids, but as we were married longer and saw our friends starting their families, something stirred in us (mostly me) and we decided to try for a baby of our own. Four years, tons of tests, meds, and fertility treatments, three unsuccessful pregnancies, and countless tears, frustrations, and angry fists shaken at the sky later, we have come to terms with not having children. Adoption was never an option either of us considered, so when the challenges of having our own child became too much to continue to take on, we stopped. For the first time in years, it felt like we were taking back control of our lives and our future. The old feeling of being "anti-kid" have come back and we're both looking forward to the next chapter of our lives that will include a new house with a pool and maybe a dog, to compliment the things we already enjoyed doing; traveling, playing rec league sports, waking up early to workout, and basically doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Living in a smaller town in the south makes it challenging to find others in our situation, so being able to forge a connection with other childfree couples would be refreshing!

valerie098

Aug 30, 2017

I too hope this forum becomes active! It's hard to meet people that share similar views. I'm 25 and finally becoming comfortable with the fact that it's okay to not want children. My husband has a child of his own from a previous marriage which is great don't get me wrong, but it's also nice that he stays primarily with his mother!

I've also taken a completely different career path since my internal clock stopped ticking my life away lol I couldn't be happier with where my life is headed and my dog babies give me all the extra affection I need :)

Cheers!

Lorraine Stanley

Sep 2, 2017

Glad to see some others on here with the same experienes. I'm 41 and I wrestled emotionally with being a childless woman when I was younger, as I found i didn't "fit in" with others who were becoming moms that were my age. Now, I'm truly thankful for my not having kids and I chose to see my Endometriosis as a kind of blessing. After 2 failed marriages, in which both husbands expected me to support them, I'm so thankful that I didn't bring kids into the mess that I went through with either of them. I'm so glad to see others on here and read their experiences as well....finally a place where I can say I belong.

Diane

Sep 10, 2017

I love this topic. I'm in my 40s and happily married, but I've struggled with whether my being childfree is by choice or chance.

There were times where I could not have a imagined a future without children of my own, but due to circumstances, including my own health, it was not going to happen without extraordinary measures I never opted to take.

Now? I am so glad I don't have children. I have a career I built myself, and it's more than I could've dreamed. I love traveling and do so extensively. I cherish my time to myself and with my husband.

It is my husband's second marriage, so I have two now barely grown stepdaughters who have always lived far and see us on visits. We have a great time traveling, exploring, and shopping together, and do so even without my husband. We all agree we love having each other and this relationship, but it is not a mother-daughter relationship, and I do not find myself ever wishing this was different or that I would have had one.

So, I'm not sure if I got here by choice or chance, but given the choice now, I wouldn't change a thing. It's great to meet like-minded women!

Crystal W

Feb 9, 2018

hello all, I am hoping to have a chance to relate to others as a not Mom. I am from the South and there are not many childfree women here.

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