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joan
May 10

Mothers Day, not so much....

5 comments

Hello.. this is a new experience for me to put my words down to others, that I do no know, but have so much in common. No children.. Not being in that club. And those in that club not necessarily letting you in. Mother’s Day brings that to the forefront. It is a hard day to get through without feeling left out, invisible and not included. Add to that the remembrances , perhaps both good and not so good, of our own mothers, missing them, taking care of them, making the losses and emptiness even more deeply felt. It is a lonely day. I reach out to the readers here to say that I embrace you and that if you feel this way too that you are not alone.

Lainie P.
Jun 5

Hi Joan, I literally just found this website and am reading through forum posts. Even though Mother's Day passed last month, I wanted to let you know that your message resonated with me, I feel the same way and would imagine many others in this community do as well. But it's not just mother's day. it's every time I go on Facebook and see pictures or posts about their children. It's a stark reminder to me of what I don't have. Sometimes, I struggle with feelings of regret, other times it's not so bad and I can appreciate my freedom and other benefits. It's just a mixed bag.

danitaaliciamarie
Jun 24

I just turned 41 and I feel this same thing every Mother's day. I don't go anywhere. It's everywhere your eyes, ears and heart can sense it. It's too heart wrenching for me to even partcipate in life on those days. So I just do my best to let the day pass. I see my therapist the Saturday before, and I self care. Long, luxurious (but quite inexpensive) baths, nails, hair & skin, things like that. I'm estranged from my father, who my mother is still married to. And since she is the mother of his children he keeps possession of her all day. I don't even interact with my own mother or any motherly members in the family. I'm the black sheep. With a hushed swept-under-the-rug secret that keeps me estranged from the family, who believe my father and brother are such good men. I deal with PTSD from them, and chronic depression. I understand how hard that day is. However, I am still alive and I still get to be the one who controls my world (for the most part), as do you. So, I say allow yourself to grieve. It's easier to accept and go through it rather than to try to fight it away. Fighting it is like trying to stop the waves of the ocean. You'll only exhaust yourself. Allow yourself to accept that it is grief....the absence of a dearly loved and wanted human being. In acceptance of the grief, you'll gain strength. But it takes time, different time for different people. Peace and comfort be with you. Big hugs, D

bri92122
Jun 27

I read recently that Anna Jarvis, the founder of mother's day, was all about honoring her own mother. She herself was childless, and loathed the commercialization of the day by greeting card companies. She even tried to get people to stop celebrating it! I can only imagine what she would say about the cheap social media crap that gets posted these days, which is even worse. Understanding the history of the holiday has made me feel oddly better about it. Maybe it will help you too.

Marye
Aug 19

Hi everyone! I feel the same about Mother's Day. I'm lucky to still have my mom (she is 81) but the older I get the more I feel left out of the Moms club (not that I want to join - I just wish the world didn't revolve around motherhood as it seems to these days). [Also just wanted to note that according to Wikipedia, "Jarvis bore between eleven and thirteen children over the course of seventeen years."]

oeurtney
Nov 7

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