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jmoon219
Jul 31

Does the novelty of kids EVER wear off?

2 comments

I am a person who absolutely cannot stand kids. So much so, that even others who don't like kids in the least tend to shun me. I’m the moustache-twirling eeeeeevil brand of CFer who would not be bothered in the slightest if all kids were to suddenly vanish off the planet tomorrow. A LOT of factors have made me feel this way. One thing being my family. My over the top, child loving, crazy family. And I don't mean crazy in a fun way either. My family just spits out replicants. One, after the other, after the other, after the other. Not only I am the only one in my family who doesn't like kids, I am the only one who doesn't bow down and worship them. It's just sickening, to be honest, and while I am confident that nothing bad is going on (molestation, and things of that nature) it does get creepy with how they act sometimes. And just FYI, as much as I can't stand kids, if I even thought that anything bad was happening, I wouldn't hesitate to alert the authorities.

 

So one day, I decided to inquire about this. I asked what the deal was and why everyone in the family (minus me) gets all giddy over anything kid related and why everyone (again, minus me) thinks that they have to trip over every last replicant in the family. And I got told that it's just "the gift that keeps on giving". I laughed so hard when this relative told me that. My response was "yeah, it's the gift that keeps on giving..... it gives a bunch of crap that I wouldn't want". Another thing that I don't get about my whack-o family is, why does every woman who has ever bore kids feel like they have to mother every other kid in the family? Like I have said before, women in my family aren't just mothers to their own kids, but they are mothers to their nieces, nephews, cousins' kids, grandchildren, great grandchildren, you name it. That part REALLY blows my mind. I mean, isn't raising your own stressful enough? Why add to it by taking on the stress and strain of trying to mother all these other kids? My aunt being a perfect example. I love her dearly, and she is the only one in my family who doesn't give me grief about not wanting kids, but when it comes to kids, she is a total nut job, just like the rest of the family. She has 5 of her own, all 30 or older, plus several grandchildren and great grandchildren. And the woman honest to goodness thinks that she is the mother to them all. She is going to stress herself right into an early grave from trying to parent these little rugrats.

 

I have begged and pleaded with her to try and see that these kids have YOUNG parents as well as grandparents. As in more than one set of grandparents. There are lines of defense (so to speak) ahead of her. They are MORE than covered. She does NOT need to put herself through all the physical and mental stresses of attempting to parent them. But...she has it her head that they are her kids. She's just like all of the other women in my family. She thinks she has to be a mother to everyone. I have just never understood why the novelty of kids never wears off. I mean, even for someone who loves kids, what is so exciting about witnessing a birth for the umpteenth time? Or going to ballet recitals and/or little league games when you have done it all of your life? Or worse yet, how on Earth do people not ever tire of the sleepless nights, the 3 AM feedings, the diaper changes, the sicknesses, the never ending trips to the pediatrician? My family will never escape that because every time they turn around, here comes another replicant. And they get to do it all over again.

cathyisa
Aug 19

Hello there!

When I read your message, I was struck by the tiredness and the somewhat rage you feel towards the mothers that surround you. I can relate because a lot of my friends are having babies and all they do is talk about them all day long. It gets a little bit boring at times and extremely boring sometimes. I don't feel as you do towards kids, I don't really like infants, they depress me a bit because they are so dependent and I cannot totally relate to them. But kids can be wonders sometimes, I don't understand why people get so over excited about them either after all it is just another human being, and while I can understand the surge of love you can feel for another human being, I don't understand the hysteria that seems sometimes involved in parental love.

Just to come back to your message, I feel (and this is just me speaking maybe I am wrong) as though you are really alone in your childless choice. As you describe your family nobody seems to have taken the time to acknowledge who you are and your choice. That must be so hard to see these people you love be so frantic around children and not giving you two seconds of their understanding. That must be a lonely place and I understand you feel the way you feel about the children. But, children are not responsible for the way their parents act and the one responsible for-too-much-all -the-time are the parents.

jmoon219
Aug 21Edited: Aug 21

Rage, huh? LOL, well, if the shoes fits. First off, I am not alone in general, just so we are clear. I am in love with a wonderful man. He too comes from a family with boatloads of kids and where everyone (except him, obviously) is just coo coo for cocoa puffs crazy when it comes to kids. He is my refuge. Also, if I may be a little nit picky for a moment. I am actually child free not childless. There is a difference.The former is a choice, the latter is a life circumstance. A childless person wants kids but, for whatever reason, does not have them, whereas a child free person does NOT WANT them. So, am I alone in my child free choice? Yes, yes, and yes. More like, cast out, spat upon, hated, loathed, despised, you name it. And that is from within my (so called) family. But, it's alright though. Because I am coming to see them for who they truly are. They are my family in name only. They are in essence, the enemy. That is why I am in the process of cutting any and all ties with them. Now, that sounds extreme, sure. But, I believe it is for the best. They are simply no good for me. I have even cut ties with my aunt (the only one who actually doesn't give me grief about my child free choice) because she is one of them (the enemy) as far as I am concerned. And I know deep down that the woman secretly judges me and that's okay because she is in NO position to judge anyone. Having kids does not make one a saint, and she is no saint by any means. I want to get some type of revenge on my aunt for judging me, and I believe I know what will hurt her the most. Should I do it? No. As the saying goes, whoever opts for revenge had best dig two graves. So, I should just rise above her judgments and leave her in the past, along with the rest of my family. You see my anger as misplaced, however, that is only partially accurate. I have a ton of resentment for the kids in my family, yes. But, the kids in my family aren't exactly what I would call blameless either. They are much smarter than the adults give them credit for. They know how to manipulate and out think the adults. The kids in my family are well aware of their status. They know that they are placed upon a pedestal. And they use it to their advantages.

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