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Elaina
Aug 1

It feels like I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t want kids!!

3 comments

Hi everyone! Obviously I’m not the only person in the world who doesn’t want kids, but it feels that way most of the time. I’m 26 years old, and my husband and I have been married for 7 years. We got married young, and both of us knew we didn’t want kids from a very early age. That being said, there isn’t a single older person in my life that doesn’t have kiddos and is happy about it. I feel like I don’t have any examples of the kind of life I want to lead; it makes me feel very alone. My husband is supportive, but I still bear most of the weight for this decision from our family and friends...and, you know, opinionated strangers that like the sound of their own voices. I just wanted to hop on here to talk with women who are in the same boat as me. Let me know you’re there! I would really appreciate it.

jmoon219
Aug 2

You have come to the right place. You are amongst friends here. I feel ya, sister. I know exactly what you mean about being the only one in your immediate circle who doesn’t love and/or want kids. You should see my family. Loads of rugrats running around and every female who has ever spit out a replicant (which is everyone except me) feels like they must be a mother to them all. My family is coo coo for kids.Every new birth is treated like it‘s the first one ever. And the red carpet is rolled out every time. Kids are the sacred cow in my stupid family. I swear every woman (except me) has 3 or more kids, and the older women all have a ton of adult kids, grandchildren, great grandchildren, a ton of nephews, nieces, great nephews and nieces, you name it. And it’ll NEVER be enough. And here I am, the only one in my whole family who not only does NOT want kids, but I also can’t stand them. So, I am a bit of an outcast in that regard. My aunt, who I love dearly is going to stress herself right into an early grave because she thinks that she MUST parent every last kid in the family. She has it in her head that she is the mother of her grandchildren and great grandchildren. It’s crazy. I love my aunt to pieces, but she’s nuts when it comes to kids. But, it’s how she’s been conditioned to think. It’s sad, really. My family all think I’m just a joyless person. And I’m really not. I just get sick of their nonstop kid babble. I’m dating a guy who is a bit older than me (I’m in my mid-40s) and he doesn’t like or want kids either. And we both live very fulfilling lives. As for non relatives, meaning my friends and what not, same thing. Either they have a boatload of kids or they desperately want kids. And even the ones who swear up and down that they are “just like” me in that they don’t want kids either are lying through their teeth. I can see it in their eyes that they want kids more than anything in the world. Why they lie is beyond me. But, I can tell when they aren’t sincere. So, I know exactly where you are coming from. I’m an anti kid person surrounded by kid people. If not for my man, I don’t know what I’d do. He is my refuge. He’s my ONE escape from all the kid madness.

Heloisa Righetto
Aug 2

Hey Elaina! Thanks for sharing with us - we know how you feel! Let me just say, read a book called 'Childfree by Chice' by Dr Amy Blackstone - you will feel so energised!!! It's amazing. Ok, so I'm 39 years old, and I'm extremely happy with my choice. Of course I did lose some friends to motherhood, but I strengthened bonds with other ones and made friends with incredible women based on our childfree choice. It's great to be able to do things in the spur of the moment!! With time, the pressure will pass, as you will get older and people will just give up or assume you can't have them. So, hold on, wait a few more years (it will get a bit worse when you get 30, but better after that), stray true to yourself and what you want for your life. Don't ever let anyone else make you feel like you are wrong or weird. You matter! You life matter! I'm with you, sister!!!!

happybee
Aug 17

I am here! And I relate to your post!!! I feel like the only couple in Ireland that ever questioned parenthood and decided to go another way! It's so isolating and I wish so badly I had just one couple who shared our views on life. I'm 34 and happily married and not getting nearly as much shade for choosing this life as I thought I would (or maybe it's water off a duck's back because I'm so happy with my decision??) and I can tell you you aren't alone and we all share a lot of similarity!!!

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