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Halloween: The Exception to Every Rule

October 30, 2017



I don't like kids. I don't pretend that I like kids. Except for one day a year: Halloween. For some crazy reason I love to decorate my house, dress up, sit on my porch, and pass candy out to all the neighborhood kids. Maybe it is because this is one of the few times little children aren't free range. When I go to bars populated by the under 5 crowd the parents seem to let their kids run rampant which can really affect my ability to have a good time. On Halloween parents are always in tow and kids are well behaved and excited to go door to door to shout their signature line. Here are some of the Halloween survival methods that help me adore this holiday.


Stay in spirit all October long.


As soon as I flip the calendar page from September I know it is time to get out the decorations. I have pumpkins and witches and black cats to adorn every surface in the house. I listen to the Halloween stations on streaming radio all month long to stay in the mood.


Wear a costume.


I never just pass out candy wearing my regular street clothes. In all seriousness, if it were socially acceptable for me to trick or treat as a 40-year-old woman, I would. I don't even want to borrow anyone's kids to do it because then they would get to keep the candy. So instead I view it as reverse trick or treating. I dress up and pass out candy.


Get the good candy.


Never, ever, skimp on the quality of your candy. There is one simple reason for this: if you have any left over at the end of the night you don't wan