I’ve always had a love hate relationship with Mother’s Day. Of course, I call my mom and tell her I love her and that’s always a nice way to recognize the day. But I am also a woman over 40 without children so going out in public, hearing people assume that I am a mother, and wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day is one of my least favorite things in the world. In truth, mother’s day is not about me, nor should it be. No one has to justify to me that I am a “mother in other ways,” or that I am “Piglet’s mommy.”
But this year, there is a different cloud hanging over the day. The woman who was effectively my mother-in-law passed away last October. She and my partner Matt were very close. His father died when he was 7 years old and his mother raised two boys on her own in a very difficult situation. Matt credits her with him becoming the man he is today, and rightfully so. She made mistakes, but who doesn’t?
Because his father died when he was so young, Father’s day has simply never been on Matt’s radar. It’s just a Sunday in June to him. But Mother’s day was always special. He would send his mother a gift and call her to tell her he loved her. And this year, for the first time ever, all of that is gone.
What makes it worse is the constant barrage of everything mom in our culture during this time. Every commercial, every print add, and throughout social media. Its all “mom-thi