A Comedy About Infertility? Not Really.

Back in January 2018, I wrote a post announcing the production of Private Life, a Netflix movie that purported to take an honest look at how couples can be stressed and consumed by infertility and the resulting quest for a baby. Not the first movie on the subject, for sure, but this one stars actor Paul Giamatti, and he's a personal favorite. (Catch him in Billions on Showtime or Hulu. Enough said.) Private Life started streaming in October. Its producers have described it as a comedy, but other than a few laughs or eyebrow raises, the story progressed slowly, and was more melancholy than funny. Perhaps that was the intent. Giamatti is Paul, a 47-year-old theater owner and a husband with a t

Laura's Story: Childfree and Moving On

When I quit my corporate job in the spring of 2012, I was entering completely unknown territory. Sure, other people have quit their careers and moved on to very successful personal projects, but I had no idea if I could be one of those people. Within the first few months, I built a reliable based of clients. But the life of a freelancer is a constant hustle, so I searched open writing jobs every day. As more and more companies were advertising for “Mommy Bloggers” in a time-frame when Mommy Blogging was starting to jump the shark, I was frustrated by the consumer culture’s focus on women-as-mother. It was specifically crazy that they needed a Mom to write about everyday products that have no

Remembering the Place Where No One Asks If You Have Kids

Here's what we did on our Summer Vacation. The NotMom team -- Laura LaVoie and I -- spent our summer absorbing Change in just about every way you might define it. One year ago, on October 7, 2017, we were wrapping up our second successful NotMom Summit in Cleveland, Ohio, More than 100 childless and childfree women from across the US and Canada, plus attendees from Belgium, England, and even New Zealand spent a memorable weekend together, happy to be in a place where no one asked, "Do you have kids?" I remember being at the podium, saying something like "Thanks for coming, be safe going home." Don't I look happy? I was. And then, the ballroom lights became spectacularly bright and jackhammer

An Open Letter to 'The Big Bang Theory': Penny and Leonard Are OK Without Kids

Dear Writers' Room: I am one of the zillions of women worldwide who fell in love with The Big Bang Theory during Season One, Episode One. That said, I am also one of the women who felt betrayed when Bernadette's character was immediately happy about a supposedly accidental pregnancy. We remember Season Five when you focused an entire episode on the reasons why kids were unthinkable for Bernadette. Do you? As a woman who once dreamed of being a Mom, the things about motherhood that drove Bernadette crazy sounded delightful to me. But, I have a blog. The NotMom® offers online and real-life resources for women without children by choice or by chance, Childfree women across America and wherever

The Childfree Experience Under the Microscope

Years ago, I worked for a grant making foundation where I learned how research drives the world's progress. Funders pay for the research and the programs derived from it. And ultimately, everything that follows. Did you ever hear a news story announcing a study on something that is "obviously" already known? Who would study such a thing, you wonder. Research that determines whether dogs can improve a person's mood, for example, is what funders and donors need before they invest to help pet therapy programs, pet companion training and more. Chances are that several books on the topic will hit the stores, too. When that research churns through ad agencies, sponsorships and support trickle do

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