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How to Know If 'Childfree Today' Means 'Childfree Always'

If you own a smartphone and subscribed to even just one social network, every minute of your day offers nothing but choices of what to make your brain do. Want to learn something? Should it be academic or pop culture? Want to laugh? Real-life cats or animation? Play a game? Learn a language? Where to click?!

I can ignore a good deal of the clutter, skeptical of click-bait at every swipe. But sometimes there are headlines that push your personal buttons, and you open a site just to see whether someone agrees with you. In january 2018, this was such a headline:

"I want to live a childfree life. Will I always feel that way?"

My mind answered the question spontaneously, immediately, viscerally:

Who the hell knows?

Writer S. Nicole Lane asked the question in her well researched, thoughtful piece contributed to the Hello Giggles website examining her lack of maternal urges. Here's how she described her current situation:

"I’m young (in my twenties) and I’m a journalist. A child just doesn’t fit into my life at this moment, it would be financially irresponsible, yadda, yadda, yadda. But let’s also consider the fact that I’ve never wanted children. The “mom gene” seemed to have skipped me when I was created 27 years ago. I’ve never had the maternal urges that many of my friends passionately express to me. To be honest, the thought of carrying a child mostly terrifies me — it doesn’t excite me. This isn’t to say I’m holier-than-thou or “right” about childbearing; I’m just curious as to where my “maternal instincts” are."

Deciding that "“baby fever” is a learned desire to leave our mark on society", Ms. Lane declares that "women who choose to be childfree should be visible. Their choice to stray away from the traditional family framework shouldn’t be questioned or audited."


Citing a 2013 article by Gillian Ragsdale, Ph.D. for Psychology Today, Ms. Lane acknowledges that "opinions on motherhood vary, fluctuate, and change throughout the course of a woman’s life."

After so much effort, Ms. Lane announces the thoughts about her future that make the most sense. [SPOILER ALERT] She concludes,

"If my mind changes in 10 or 20 years, then my mind changes and I’ll act accordingly. But for now, my childfree future is bright and glowing."

That means there is NO WAY to predict the future. Not how long you'll live nor whether one day, childfree you will choose a different path. No guarantees are offered for anything. Best of luck!

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